The Sounds of an On-Going Existential Crisis

Kristen Carbone
3 min readFeb 13, 2020

Blame It on Your Love — Charli XCX (featuring Lizzo)

This is best played while wondering how many times you’re going to blame a past love for wrecking all future possibilities of being romantically fulfilled, even thought you know you were 50% of the relationship.

This Year — Mountain Goats

This is best played on the darkest days when everything feels heavy but you know that you’ve carved out the space you currently occupy and have no one to blame but yourself.

Postcards from Hell — The Wood Brothers

This is best played when you don’t let someone invest in your company who is morally questionable or who has already sexually harassed you in some way.

Can You Tell — Ra Ra Riot

This is best played loudly in the car when I miss you.

Stay Alive — Jose Gonzalez

This is best played while I slowly, methodically stir the risotto and wonder if I’m wasting my life.

Where Did Our Love Go — Soft Cell

This is best played while, quite obviously, wondering where our love went. Where did it go?

Dancing In The Dark — Rihanna

This is best played while dancing in the kitchen with your children and wondering if they understand that you feel like this exact moment is the only time you can let loose and really shine.

Dancing On My Own — Robyn

This is also best played in the kitchen, but when dancing with girl friends and not children and remembering that we’re never actually alone. Even in the moments that feel that way.

The Book of Love — The Magnetic Fields

This is best played when you’re contemplating the potential truth that the book of love is actually long and boring and profound and mundane all at once.

Life in Disguise — The Slip

This is best played when you’re high, laying on the living room floor and thinking about that you’re simply made of stardust, and ultimately so very small.

Anything by Liz Phair

This is best played when you want to smash things but aren’t somewhere where that is possible, so you do it in your mind to the beat of the drums.

My Body’s a Zombie For You — Dean Man’s Bones

This is best played on long car rides when you’re pondering this disconnect between your rational and emotional self.

White Flag — Joseph

This is best played when you aren’t ready to give up.

Both Hands — Ani DiFranco

This is best when recalling that hopeless, helpless feeling that you sustained throughout your entire time in high school that was likely fueled by hormones. It’s so far away and still so acute.

Pound the Alarm — Nicki Minaj

This is best enjoyed on the way to a first date. I’m not sure why.

Bury Your Burdens in The Ground — William Elliot Whitmore

This is best enjoyed when you long for the company of a man with an impossibly deep voice who is also likely depressing to be with and you later regret his company.

Tell My Why — M.I.A.

This is best enjoyed when you’re wondering why for the 3,000th time today.

Under Pressure — Queen, David Bowie

This is best on the way to every single pitch meeting.

The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1 — Neutral Milk Hotel

This is best for thinking about being in your ex-husband’s dorm room reorganizing his closet while he was in class.

I Forgot That You Existed — Taylor Swift

This is best for reminding yourself that you can get over any heartbreak, forget about it even.

Spaceship — Kesha

This is best when imagining your own death, and maybe who will attend your funeral.

Boys — Lizzo

This is best kinda any time at all.

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Kristen Carbone

Just trying to understand the tiny space I occupy in the cosmos without becoming too distracted by the laundry.